There Are 3 Things Every Parent Needs To Do And Number One Is: Stay Calm

There Are 3 Things Every Parent Needs To Do And Number One Is: Stay Calm

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What are the most effective, sure-fire practices for raising children well?

Parenting is a tough, extenuating, lacerating, tiresome, but very rewarding business (love, affection, company, pensions and propagation of genes). By being still in it on both sides as a son and father, I feel very confident in stating that the single most important, almost crucial, aspect that you should keep at hand in order for your children to have a pleasant life now and in the future is: Stay calm.

If you don’t, they won’t either.

If you don’t, you’ll regret teaching them, indirectly, how to not behave.

If you don’t, your health will worsen.

If you don’t, your marriage/company/family/extended family/whatever-social-structure-you-are-growing-your-children-in will suffer.

And, you know what? There are really no benefits whatsoever in not staying calm and keeping it cool. Rage or violence won’t get you anywhere in 2016. Anger or revenge will just sicken you and the people around you.

And that’s Point One. Very important, especially for men who are historically and genetically more prone to rage because of testosterone.

An equally important point for parents to remember: Let your children live.

Let them get hurt. Let them break a bone. Let them fall without being constantly present to comfort them. See them get in trouble and allow them to fall into it (as long as it’s not irreversible). Let them get burned. Let them taste spicy food. Let them touch the world and be touched by it. And when they come to you, help them out to understand what went wrong and why. Ask questions. State your opinion and allow them to reason and to figure it out.

If you don’t, they’ll never grow.

If you don’t, they’ll always depend on your strength (that you’re not even sure you have), your money, your status, your height, and your presence.

If you don’t, you’ll block the most important aspect of learning: experience.

Let them get burned. Let them taste spicy food. Let them touch the world and be touched by it.

There’s also a third point, but I’d state it as a rule of life that everyone should adopt (no matter if they’re parents or not): Always be curious. About yourself and them. Be open. Never think he/she is like this or that. Never fall into the trap of creating his/her character by stating that “he/she likes this”, “he/she needs that”, “he/she must do this /that”. No, untrue, false.

We need only air, food and water. We adapt continuously to our surroundings and when we have only our parents around us that’s the only thing we will adapt to. What you tell them matters so much you can’t imagine. Don’t ever state who they are, otherwise that’s what they’ll think they need to become.

Alessandro Fais is a father of 2 angels that together become one beast.

Source: Fatherly

Give Your Family Your Best

Give Your Family Your Best

What a fantastic quote from @FierceMarriage on Twitter:

Make sure to give your family your best. 20 years from now, you absolutely won’t regret making your spouse & kids the highlight of your day.

Each day that I’m given from the Lord I realize this more and more what gifts my wife & children are to me. Why would I ever dare waste that time with them only to be consumed by TV, sports, or my iPhone???

Your family is your greatest ministry in life. They are not only your responsibility, but even more, they are your primary calling in life. I’m learning more every day that I can’t forget that.

The Best Way You Can Be a Better Dad Today

The Best Way You Can Be a Better Dad Today

On the way home from work yesterday I was listening to the Ransomed Heart Podcast and the episode was titled “Seasons of Fatherhood”. One of the dads talking shared a really interesting observation about how to be a better dad:

“Learn how to be a better son to your Heavenly Dad first.”

I love this advice! Because it follows the order in our worship and really where our hearts should be first before figuring out all of the “how to’s” of being a better fathers.

All the tips and tricks and books in the world won’t help you until you realize this foundational principle. Good stuff!!

When Christians Cuss: Thoughts On Our Language & Why It Matters

When Christians Cuss: Thoughts On Our Language & Why It Matters

I consider myself to be a pretty easy going guy in life.  Sure, I definitely have moments of stress and tension just like anyone else, but for the most part, I think things roll off my back pretty easily.  At least, I know I’m learning.

But, I have to say, there are a few things that really make me cringe: Changing a diaper for the first time, hypocrisy, and the very subject of this post – hearing Christians cuss and use foul language.

I think many people (including Christians) don’t understand the power of curse words & found language. Because they’ve accepted it into their normal vocabulary.  This is really tragic.

What is even more concerning to me is hearing Christians who use four letter words or the Lord’s name in vain without even batting an eye.  It’s as if the words they’re using doesn’t matter to them.  Or they attempt to use the “I love Jesus, but I’m not legalistic” argument.

Just as with any sin, the Bible gives us a standard to live by when it comes to our language. A few verses that speak to our language:

Ephesians 5:4 – “Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.”

Ephesians 4:29 – “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

Colossians 4:6 – “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”

So it’s very clear that our language needs to be pleasing to God.

Please understand, this post isn’t a “smack your hand with a ruler” kind of post. It’s an attempt to clear up some real confusion I see in our culture that language doesn’t matter.  It’s really disappointing to listen people you look up to, spiritual growth podcasts, and individuals in positions of leadership throw around language that is obviously meant more for shock value than it is meant to convey truth.

I think that’s what it really comes down to for me. I’m not a person who curses or uses foul language. But I know that my words can hurt and still offend if I’m not careful. I want my words to encourage, build, heal, and convey truth. They’re not meant for shock value.